Or technically not.
I think the issue is that I have so many things that I want to creatively spew and celebrate and rant and rave that I’m like a sugar fueled child at Disneyland with no boundaries or parent supervision. Goodness. I started three blogs this morning only to hit cancel and have my “Mean Girl” inner voice tell me “No one will care about that crap, Tami. Scratch it and move on. Dance little monkey, DANCE!!!” Seriously, my “mean girl” AKA the devil part of my subconscious is a huge B—-, sometimes. She always likes to put me down.
Blogging is addicting. I have met and discovered the beauty of other’s words this past week. It makes you feel alive as you embark upon an otherwise unknown trip by reading the woven tapestry of words that were put forth by someone’s soul. It’s an astounding window to another view on life. I love it.
Seriously though, here I am. I made the commitment to blog everyday this month. I’m grateful that I did it because I have missed writing, but I cant help but be apprehensive over it. I am 31 years old, I have been through good times and horrible times, loss and love, and here I still stand, a bit wiser… well, for the most part I hope! I have plenty to say, to share, but I guess I fear that no one will care to listen.
As soon as I accepted the NoBloPoMo challenge I froze and all I could hear in my head was the Plato quote “Wise men speak because they have something to say, fools because because they have to say something.” And here comes that Mean Girl again- “Yep, Tam, you’re a fool. No one cares. You’re only good when you work on a piece, not when you just spew it out on your lunch hour.” She does a great “Carrie” impression too, “They’re all gonna laugh at you!” Wow, it truly does hit home that you can and most certainly will be your own worst enemy, doesn’t it?
This is my beautiful space to be the perfectly imperfect me. My creative outlet, my therapy, my “Woosah-Happy” place I spoke of in my first blog. A place for you, my readers, to know me(imperfect remember? Keep that in mind.) and to embark on my vision, my window to my world, my experiences, the pieces of my heart and a bit of my soul all mixed together.
So not only is this my shared journey with you, it is my way of resounding my wisdom and experiences from my life. Down the road I will share of my single Motherhood adventures, my Tomboy country memories, that one time I nearly got ran over by a train in the middle of the night in the Guatemalan jungle, Paris in the Springtime, that one time I was a recording songwriter, domestic violence, my servants heart and so many others that I haven’t even touched upon here. All semi untold stories of yours truly. I cant wait to share them with you.
I will hit publish and have my piece for the day and you know what? It’ll be good, because I’m sharing the words to my soul. It’s not perfect, it’s me and my imperfections, my deficiencies, but even when we feel not good enough, it shows courage and a step toward progress when you do it anyway. Agreed? Good. Me too 🙂